


Being Human

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergance, Cas is grumpy, F/M, Human Cas lives in the Bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 07:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15043427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: Being Human takes some getting used too





	Being Human

Being human seemed to make Cas was absolutely miserable. There were so much he had to adjust too and it made him whine about the smallest of things you had never perceived to be a problem before. At first you had found his complaining about about having to pee, being thirsty, being hungry or being tired adorable, but as time progressed his endless complaints had started to annoy you. So much so you actually found yourself avoiding spending time with your formerly angelic boyfriend.

You weren’t doing it on purpose. It was not like you were mad at him or wanted to punish him for how he’d been acting. You understood that it was a big change. Your mind had simply needed a break from his rather constant sulking. You stood hidden between behind one of the shelves and you froze when you heard Cas’ words. 

“I think I should move out Dean.”

You still loved him more than you had ever loved anyone or anything in your life, which was why if felt as if a dagger had been plunged through your heart, when you accidentally overheard Cas talking to Dean in the library one night as you were returning from a not needed supply run. You had been heading in to to see the boys, as you wanted to ask them if they wanted to do a movie night, but every thought of any movie was now long gone.

“What? Don’t be an idiot Cas. Where would you go?” Dean asked sounded almost as upset as you felt, but how you had been feeling in that moment was nothing compared to the pain his following words brought you.

“I don’t think Y/N wants me here any more,” he sounded so sad it took all your willpower not to run from your hiding and throw your arms around his neck. You wanted to tell him to stay and that you loved him, but you knew you needed to hear him out. You also knew Cas well enough to know, he was always to scared to upset you, to tell you any of what he was telling Dean to your face. Your only option to know how to fix what was hurting him was to stay hidden and learn the truth.

“Why would you say that buddy?” Dean’s voice softened and you could hear him moving, presumably closer to his best friend as he was trying to pick up the pieces of whatever mess you seemed to have created. “Y/N/N loves you. Everyone can see that.”

“Not anymore,” Cas mumbled, almost too low for you to make out the words. “She never want to spent time with me anymore. Ever since I became human, she always seem to be busy. Or maybe she always was and I just never noticed. It doesn’t feel like she loves me.”

The tears were streaming down your cheeks now and your silent crying wasn’t helped by Dean’s loving words. “Cas I’ve known Y/N/N since we were kids. If she didn’t want you here she would have kicked you out,” you could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. He had always been like an older brother to you, but there was no doubt in your mind that he admired you as much as you admired him. You were friends and siblings by choice, in much the same way as you and Sam were. Cas however you had fallen in love with fast. Even when he had been way more of an angel than he had in the recent years, you had loved him. You saw things in him that the brother’s hadn’t at first. He wasn’t just a follower. Cas was brave and believed in right and wrong. He cared for every human he encountered but especially you and the Winchesters. He would do anything to protect you. Even if his actions sometimes had been misguided, he never once had done anything that wasn’t purely done out of love for his human family as well as for his angelic one. No matter how many times they betrayed his trust, Cas kept trying to make amends with his first family. You wished he wouldn’t but you still admired his loyalty and strength.

“You should talk to her buddy,” Dean pushed gently, causing Cas to sigh deeply.

“I’ve tried, but it feels as if she is always running away from me,” Cas muttered, and you quickly dried your eyes as you mentally kicked yourself for making him feel this way. All you really wanted to do was to run to your room and bury your face in the pillow, crying your eyes out. You knew that wouldn’t work though. You knew Cas needed you and to be honest you needed him too. It did feel as the two of you had been drifting apart lately and you never wanted that to happen. You had never loved anyone like you loved your angel. And he would always be that to you. Your angel. No matter if he had powers or not. No matter if he was human or not he was your odd, amazing, loving, loyal angel.

You managed to slip passed the two men. Actually you managed to talk to Sam and ask him for directions to one of Bobby’s old cabins as well as pack a bag for you and Cas before he came looking for you.

“Y/N I was wondering if… Are you leaving?” You turned around feeling a pang to your chest when you saw the devastated look on Cas’ face.

“I wanted to surprise you,” you quickly explained, stepping up to him placing your hands against his chest. “I thought we needed to get away for a while. I talked to the boys and they are okay with us taking off for a few days.”

Cas stared at you with that stare that you never could read and just like always it made you nervous. You were afraid the damage was done and that he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. You hated yourself for having pushed him away and the tears were just about to spill down you cheeks. Before they could or before you could start pleading with him to stay with you; to come away with you and find your way back to each other Cas smiled. His smile burned through your skin, warming your smile and you couldn’t help but return in laughing happily as he spoke.

“You want me to come on a vacation with you Y/N?” Cas asked still smiling brightly and you instantly threw your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. You smiled even brighter against his lips as you felt his arms close around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to his solid frame.

“I want us to be happy with each other without any interruptions for a few days,” you beamed up at him and Cas lowered his face down, hiding in the crook of your neck. He drew a sigh of relief as he felt your fingers running through his messy dark locks and he hesitantly whispered his confession against your skin.

“I know I am not an angel anymore Y/N. I know I have been difficult these past few weeks, but I love you. You’re the one thing I can’t stand to lose,” his words, made the tears you had held back before stream down your cheeks and you gently tugged at his hair forcing him to look at you. You stared deeply into the sea of blue before you as you made the promise you knew you would never break. “I’ll never leave you Cas. I’ll always love you, no matter what you are.”

They next couple of days at Bobby’s old cabin proved to be magical. Cas was less grumpy than he had been ever since he turned human. Well apparently peeing was still the biggest annoyance ever, but he also had the knack of noticing he had to go at the most inconvenient times. Like in the middle of making out or plucking mushrooms in the woods. Who knew a former soldier of God would be so vain he refused to pee behind a tree? Rushing home had made you slightly peeved but when Cas returned from the bathroom with the biggest relieved smile on his face you had broke down laughing. Just like you had, when you noticed his dental hygiene routine, which included toothpaste… lots of toothpaste and no toothbrush.

Actually teasing him things like shaving, brushing his teeth, showering… especially showering was fun. Cooking was another activity which Cas proved to be surprisingly good at rather quickly. He talked about how the wind felt on his skin and described the sensations of everything he hadn’t experienced in that way before, which made you see the world through changed eyes. Cas was different now, but he was still Cas and you didn’t love him any less than you always had. Actually you felt yourself falling even more in love with him, with every passing minute.

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You stat closely against him on the couch. Both your feet was resting on the coffee table and your head against his shoulder as he read one of your favorite books out loud to you. He had always read to you. Even when he was an angel, he had stayed in bed with you reading to you until you fell asleep and even back when he needed no rest he had stayed with you until morning came; watching over you and keeping you safe.

Right now you just sat there. Both of you enjoying the warmth from the fire and the burn of the wine coursing through your veins as you shared each other’s body heat. Your eyes wandered from the fire, to his face. Mesmerized by the way the light from the fire danced across his skin, illuminating the softness in his eyes and the slight frown on his forehead as he focused on the words on the page. You had no idea how long you stared at him for, but it was long enough to get lost in him and no longer pay to the words falling from his full lips. You smiled softly as you realized this would be your life now. He would always be with you, in moments like this or hunting. He would age and grow old with you. He would never leave you and you’d never be forced to leave him. You and he were forever now.

“Y/N why are you staring at me like that?” Cas smiled, slowly turning his head to look at you, making you giggle and blush.

“It’s not like you don’t stare at me all the time too,” you sassed. You weren’t a touchy feely person. Admitting to what had just went through your mind wasn’t easy, but you hoped that even without his powers Cas would somehow know.

You smiled when you put down the book, pulling you into his lap, helping you straddle him. “Not as often as I used too. I sleep now too,” Cas answered you seriously, making you burst out laughing, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as he held you.

“Jeez Cas that’s not creepy at all,” you giggled, pulling back looking into his eyes. Your grin widened when you saw the soft serene look in his eyes and the slight smile tugging at his lips.

“What are you thinking Cas?” you asked him, tenderly running your fingertips through his already messy hair.

“That I like being human. I never have to say goodbye to you now,” Cas answered, making your heart skip a beat. He didn’t need the power to read your mind. You were connected. You always would be. Your lips crashed against his in a deep, loving kiss and his arms tightened around you as you whispered against his lips between kisses.

“You don’t need your grace Cas. You’ll always be my angel.”


End file.
